


All I Want

by watcher_ofthe_sky



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: M/M, mentioned satou x uenoyama, satoau mafuyu/yoshida yuuki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 06:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20774165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watcher_ofthe_sky/pseuds/watcher_ofthe_sky
Summary: He tried hard to not imagine that it is Yuki who he is holding.He tried hard to not believe that it’s the strings of his heart which are broken.But he was failing.





	All I Want

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All the characters and the story of Given belongs to Natsuki Kizu, I do not own anything. The title of the fic and the lyrics used in it are from the song of the same name by Kodaline.

_“All I want is nothing more_  


_To hear you knocking at my door.”_  
  
.  
  
Mafuyu exhaled a long sigh, sinking the soles of his feet deep in the sheets. Light from the slit of the window entered in, dust spiralling like magic. He raised his hand, touching the particles with his fingertips; trying to inhale the light, absorbing it inside his core. It was the only way he could take it in. He wanted to swell till his skin turn red in the golden light, wanted to burst out till all the darkness come out.  
  
He was tired.

.  
  
_“I lay in tears in bed all night  
Alone without you by my side.”_  
  
.  
  
His hands cupped the dust, his eyes desperately trying to find a face out of it. This was the place where Yuki had held him, kissed him till the air came out of their lungs, made love till they could feel nothing but the other. He was beautiful, shining under the sunlight peeping through the same window. Smiling through his dishevelled blond hair, he looked glorious.  
  
Alive.  
  
They used to make music out of each other. They have pulled the strings of each other’s hearts and made songs of out their memories; hummed those tunes of loves deep in nights.  
  
.  
  
_“You took my soul and wiped it clean  
Our love was made for movie screens.”  
_  
.  
  
He wanted to sing those songs again. He wanted to scream those tunes till his voice chokes on itself, till his words turn into nothing but sound. The sound of agony. Pain.  
  
His eyes felt heavy due to not sleeping. How can he do that when there is this one nightmare that comes to haunt him every time he closes his eyes?  
  
The image of Yuki hanging by the ceiling, looking at him with cold, dead eyes.  
  
.  
  
_“But if you loved me, why’d you leave me?”_  
  
.  
  
His Yuki who had promised him to be together; who had taken him out of his shell; who had never demanded words out of him, and yet had let him say them whenever he wanted.

  
But after everything, he had betrayed him too. He too didn’t give him to chance to say the words one last time; didn’t let him

say sorry and apologise.  
  
Didn’t let him say how much he loves him.  
  
Mafuyu picked up the guitar by his bedside and clutched it tighter to his chest, running his fingers over the broken strings which he had snapped a few days ago after the nightmare.  
  
He tried hard to not imagine that it is Yuki who he is holding. He tried hard to not believe that it’s the strings of his heart which are broken.  
  
But he was failing.  
  
He curled up in the corner, wishing for the tears to come out; hoping for the pain to materialise into something absolute. But it never did.  
  
_Tomorrow_, he thought. _Tomorrow I’ll try to fix the strings_.  
  
He doesn’t know that tomorrow he will fall asleep during lunchtime at a secluded place near the basketball court in the school. He doesn’t know that a stranger with black hair will come to sleep there too.  
  
He doesn’t know that the person will take up space more than that of the place.  
  
He doesn’t know that the person will fix the broken strings  
  
Of the guitar  
  
And of the heart.  
.  
  
_“All I want is, and all I need is  
To find somebody, I’ll find somebody.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews?


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